


Fire and Starlight

by caffeinechesters



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pre-Series Dean Winchester, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 14:24:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16139102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caffeinechesters/pseuds/caffeinechesters
Summary: My prompt was bonfires and somehow my brain decided to go with a Christmas theme and angst.





	Fire and Starlight

**Author's Note:**

> My prompt was bonfires and somehow my brain decided to go with a Christmas theme and angst.

It was hard for Sam to comprehend when he saw a bonfire meant for a celebration. Up until that point, a bonfire was just a way of disposing something. Dean tried making it fun by making it competition on who’s pile would burn the longest or the highest. Overall, bonfires never screamed celebration to Sam. It meant that they were soon leaving or something went awry and they needed to burn all evidence that they ever existed in that town.

They were stranded in St. James, Louisiana near Christmas. Their dad was out hunting ghosts haunting old sawmills, plantations, and the bayous. Dean wanted to go along, trying to convince him that he needed a hand, John told Dean to keep Sam safe and to stay put. Sam hated that their dad couldn’t see him as the teenager he was that could take care of himself for a couple of days, possibly weeks, but at the same time, he didn’t mind having Dean around for Christmas. Maybe he could convince Dean to let him practice his aim with the beer can wreath that somehow appeared on the front door of the trailer. Sam decided he will do it either way, but it’s better if he can Dean in on it, too. The only downside to having Dean around without their dad is that it’s harder for him to hide the fact that he loves his brother far more than he should. Sam has an inkling that their father knows, but as long as Sam doesn’t act upon it, he figures he leave them alone.

The first day after John leaves is the same military tight schedule that he has for them. Dean is always afraid that he’ll come back because forgot something and it’ll prove to him that Dean isn’t capable of filling of shoes. Sam wants to scoff because Sam can never see Dean becoming like their dad despite how much Dean idolizes him. The second day is the start of the vacation away from John as Sam puts in his mind. They can run wild and free as long as the law doesn’t follow them home. It suits them both fine. However, Sam feels jealous flare up inside of him when he sees Dean bring home girls from the bar and shoos him outside no matter where they are. He thinks Dean might feel the same when he mentions someone he’s interested in judging by how schooled his expression is. It might be wishful thinking his sixteen year old mind supplies, Dean is his universe and Sam is Dean’s.

Dean on third day after John left comes into the trailer looking exuberant for someone that a couple of hours ago was lamenting about the lack of girls here and how he’d have to go across to the town on the opposite bank of the Mississippi.

“Sammy guess what,” Dean starts, looking expectantly at Sam to ask him what.

Sam looks up from his book,letting out a sigh, “What Dean? You finally found a girl?”

“What? No, I haven’t found a girl, but I found out they have an awesome thing going on Christmas Eve,” Dean says looking very excited. Sam thinks there either has to be booze or girls involved to get Dean his happy.

“Does it involve whiskey and girls,” Sam questions, eyeing his brother.

“How little you think of me, Sammy. There’s this tradition here called Papa Noel where basically it’s Santa Claus with gators instead of reindeer but they light bonfires on the levees to guide him. People are already building their frames for their bonfires,” Dean tells Sam. “One of the ones I saw is looking like a crawfish on the way back here.”  
Sam can’t help but laugh at Dean. Something as simple as lighting a fire will bring him such glee like a couple of years ago when they lit up that abandoned field. Dean looks at him like he grew another head.

“Yeah Dean. It does sound awesome, but why are you telling me? Dad is probably gonna be back before Christmas Eve,” Sam states trying not to sound like downer.

“About that. Dad called me while I was picking up some more bread and peanut butter. He found a rugaru case a couple of parishes away, so it’ll probably be after Christmas when he comes back,” Dean tells Sam. Dean is bracing for whatever Sam may throw when it comes to their dad: elation, anger, or a combination of the two.

“You mean we’re going to spend Christmas here,” Sam questions.

“Yeah, we are, so do you wanna go see a bunch of people light bonfires on the levee with me tomorrow night,” Dean asks.

Sam hesitates a moment. A part of Sam wants to angry over their dad leaving them alone on Christmas again but seeing Dean excited over this is more important.Dean is looking at him, trying to gauge what Sam’s first reaction will be. Dean knows that John not being there for the major holidays is a sore spot for Sam (and when he was younger), but the thought of watching people light massive wooden structure might make it seem a little less abandonment and a bit more adventure.

“Yeah Dean we can go to the levee tomorrow night. Do you think we can stop at that local cafe and pick up some beignets and coffee before,” Sam asks while trying to hide his enthusiasm over this.

“Of course, Sammy,” Dean says before heading back to use the shower.

When Sam hears the shower turn on he can finally grin and be happy that their dad isn’t going to be around for Christmas. It means that they’ll be able to be normal for once. Maybe Sam will be able to admit to Dean the way he’s felt since they razed that field on the Fourth of July. There could be a Christmas miracle after.

The next day is filled with both of them just lounging about the trailer, with Dean complaining it’s hard to get into the Christmas spirit when it’s in the mid-sixties outside and it feels more like fall. Sam agrees to an extent and reminds Dean of the time they got snowed in a cabin near the Canadian border. He shutters at the thought of that cabin surrounded by nothing but snow without any entertainment except for old lore books and Sam.

Dean stays true to word even when Sam said he was joking about the beignets and coffee from the cafe when they go out at dusk. They eat the beignets at the cafe, savoring the flavor, and trying to smear their powdered sugar fingers on each other and laughing. They garner looks from some of the other patrons but soon they’re leaving for the levee to get a look at some of the designs that are soon going to be lit.

The structures that are soon going to be lit come into view before they can cross the street to the levee. Most of them are tall, teepee-shaped all lined up following the curve of the river. They wander around looking for more unique ones and it’s Sam that spots one that looks like a fleur-de-lis. Dean doesn’t seem impressed by the architecture of any of them which he bemoans to Sam about how they’ve build better structures out of less than ideal kindling wood and assorted materials. Sam hates to agree with Dean most of the time, partially because it’ll inflate Dean’s already to big ego, but he has a point. Most of them have the height but Sam figures if they were giving a lot of time in the form of days instead of the “we only have as long as until someone calls the cops on us” they could do just as well if not better. They do end up chatting with a couple of the builders to find out their method, especially the fleur-de-lis shaped one. 

Dusk is giving into the night, stars hazy bright overhead. Someone who is official looking gives a signal downstream and the night lights up with the fire crawling up the structures. It’s a beautiful sight Sam thinks and looks over Dean whose eyes are glued to the bonfires. Dean looks over at him and smiles, mouthing the words awesome before looking up to the sky when he hears fireworks going off. Sam wants to stay in this moment forever. He inches closer to Dean, nudging his shoulder against him. Dean looks down at first before moving his eyes up to meet Sam’s.

“Thank you Dean for taking me out here tonight,” Sam tells Dean over the din of the celebration.

Dean smiles and says, “What else are brothers for Sammy? I couldn’t let you waste away in that trailer on Christmas Eve when this is happening.”

And Sam in that moment realizes he could never tell Dean. Dean views him as his kid brother. Sam just nods and watches Dean look back at the celebration. Sam needs to get away from Dean before Dean finds out that he’s a freak like every bully has ever told him. Sam was thinking about going college. That would give him space. Maybe if he’s away from Dean and the claustrophobic, nomadic lifestyle of hunting he’ll realize that it was just a product of too close of quarters and not enough friends. Sam hopes that’s all it is. Come tomorrow he’ll need to plan his course of action, but tonight, he’ll stay as close to Dean as he can.


End file.
